Before you bang your head into any BDSM scene, you need to be aware of the follow-up care. BDSM grooming is an integral part of every scene that does no harm; although this may be more minimal if the scene is not intense. Find out how follow-up care can help mitigate the profound effects that bondage dating can have on your body and mind.
WHY BDSM AFTERCARE?
A BDSM scene can be powerful, even if you've done the action a hundred times before, and even if it doesn't seem that intense. Your body will have a physiological response to pushing your body, perhaps to its limit. The rush of adrenaline and endorphins causes your body to become temporarily imbalanced. The surge of these chemicals leaving your body, known as a sub-blob, can be confusing.
In particular, cortisol is the body's response to stress. And while you can volunteer for these activities and even find them to reduce perceived stress, your body will respond accordingly. If you experience prolonged stress, which would be atypical in the BDSM scene but could arise from stressful work or unhealthy relationships, your body will continually produce cortisol, which constricts your immune system.
If you were on the receiving end, you could be in pain from receiving punishments or being tied up in potentially uncomfortable positions. Mentally and emotionally, you may feel exhausted, disconnected from your partner, or confused by the pleasure on stage. You may be disoriented and feel disconnected from your body.
Other symptoms include
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- Inability to regulate temperature
- High or low blood pressure
- Weak muscles
- Lack of focus
All of this can be shocking, especially if you don't expect it. But the guidance and follow-up provided by your dominant can help ease symptoms and return you to a safe and comfortable state.
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Aftercare also allows you to reconnect. You may have felt like you are in a different world as your partner, or you may have buried yourself deep in your head. Giving and receiving BDSM aftercare strengthens your bond.
EXAMPLES OF FOLLOWING CARE
The popularity of post-stage hugs and food has prompted some people to describe postoperative BDSM treatments as "hugs and carbohydrates." However, there are several activities that are effective after leaving.
1. Care of wounds and trauma
Any bruising, abrasion, or other injury requires proper care. This could mean scrubbing and bandaging abrasions, rubbing a soothing ointment on a donkey that has been spanked with red, or applying an ice pack to reduce inflammation in any part of the body.
A first aid should be part of your post-operative nursing kit, and also remain on hand in case of any disruption during play.
A glass of water hydrates your body and delivers essential electrolytes. Consider a soothing tea if you like it. Signs that indicate dehydration include stiff skin, sunken eyes, dry mouth, and rapid breathing.
It is also helpful to have a snack to restore balance to your body. Snacks should be light and wholesome, such as bananas or strawberries, to replenish the natural sugar that can be depleted after the scene. Salty snacks increase potassium, which can be depleted due to dehydration. Consider a smoothie to deal with blood sugar and dehydration in one fell swoop.
Typically, your GI system experiences shock within two days of a stressful scene. However, you will find that eating anything can help you dehydrate you in as little as twenty minutes.
3. Physical contact and comfort
The physical contact you need or provide as part of your aftercare depends on your relationship. Some people like slow lovemaking; others love to cuddle. Sensual massage (sensual massage techniques) helps partners to stay connected and can eliminate muscle pain resulting from exposure or stimulation during a scene.
Anything that leads to orgasm can improve your mood, which may have dropped after the scene ended.
A warm blanket or cozy robe is an easy way to provide follow-up care for your partner, as long as you don't hug your partners. Some people enjoy sitting in cozy pajamas and slippers, and cuddling provides physical contact and also boosts oxytocin. More on this here.
Whether you're feeling sluggish from all the hormonal activity in your body or just tired of the slap of resignation, sleep is the most important form of post-operative childcare. Some people just need a nap (sometimes with their partners), while others need a full night (or more) rest to allow their bodies to recover and return to normal.
5. Conversation and laughter
Sometimes, after treatment, a BDSM scenario is as simple as talking and laughing with a partner. Some people prefer to use this time to discuss what they like or what will change in the scene. However, you can wait before offering any potential criticism to someone who might be particularly vulnerable due to BDSM activities.
6. Bathing and beauty treatments
Creating a warm bath for your partner (or the two of you) may be the best example of aftercare. Filling it with a bath bomb or warm bubbles only adds to the atmosphere, while warm water soothes tired sore muscles. Consider lighting scented candles or incense to improve your mood.
For many women, a beauty routine can also provide stability. Doing your hair or makeup or applying lotion, perhaps after a shower, can complete the stress response cycle and get you back to your daily routine.
7. Relaxing activities
Any activity that relaxes you can be helpful for follow-up care. For some people, this might be reading. Others enjoy a coloration that is repetitive and soothing. Video games can do the trick for you to get grounded again.
8. Your Favorite Media
Finally, consider putting on some relaxing music or your favorite movie to comfort you after the scene. There are no surprises here. You know the plot, and it's reassuring when you come back from your scene.
BDSM FOLLOW-UP DOMINANT CARE
While most of the reading material relates to aftercare as it relates to subordinates, dominants can also benefit from aftercare. These are even those times when the subwoofer does not need follow-up care and the house does.
Dominants can feel physically and mentally tired, and a chemical cocktail of hormones can lead to extreme lethargy. They may come to terms with things they said or did during a scene and feelings or behaviors that might be troubling. Feelings of guilt are common even for experienced dominants who may suddenly wonder which monster can hurt the person they love the most.
Endorphins can lead to maximum, but returning from it can lead to collapse. While people recognize a sub-fall, few of them talk about falling or falling.
Top care can look much the same as for subordinates, including food or drink to replenish the body, hugs, or massage. It can make a big difference to someone who may have rocked a spanking for an extended period, just like a few words of confirmation can work wonders for someone who suddenly feels inadequate.
It might even be appropriate for oral sex to have the dominant end the scene and strengthen your bond. When the subordinate and dominant need additional service, it is best to focus on what you can do together and what you need to do immediately.
Dominants are more likely to experience a type of rejection during their falls than submissive ones. It may take them hours or even months to get back to the idea of BDSM activity. A particularly needy submissive can make it difficult to stabilize again. Some dominants (and their subordinates) benefit from having a trusted third party who can take on tasks and assignments until the dominant can return to full participation.
In some cases, a third party can act as a surrogate when the couple is unable to exchange care.
No matter what role you play, you and your man can provide each other with BDSM postoperative care rather than leaving one of you to care for both of you.
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TERMS OF THE FOLLOWING CARE
As a dominant, you might assume that caring for a subordinate takes an entire night, so plan accordingly. If you need to break up, give them the opportunity to return home without requiring them to drive. A follow-up phone call ensures their safety.
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While most of the BDSM follow-up takes place immediately after the scene, this is not always the case. Subsequent treatment may wait until you fall asleep if your drop or drop requires you to rejuvenate first. Registering a few days later can also help identify issues that may not appear immediately after the scene ends. This break can also be critical for people for whom the top or bottom drops take a separate time, which can manifest as withdrawal that dissipates over time.
Some dominants schedule a coffee or ice cream date with the players they played with a few days after the scene. Even if it was an occasional or one-off event, this type of follow-up is usually encouraged. Everything can be great, or these meetings can allow the couple to discuss what happened and how it affected each of them.
While the dominant usually initiates, the submissive can do it too. The home may feel guilty or falling apart, which prevents them from receiving much needed follow-up care. If you find yourself in this position, be careful not to flood your dominant.
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